Vaso-vagal Syncope

After I got home from the run and had rested for awhile I began checking stuff out on the web. Pat sent me a link to a site that pretty much describes what happened to me on the run. Vaso-vagal syncope is what brought me to my knees (literally).

When you stop physical exertion on the body, your blood psi drops slightly. However, when I sat on the edge of the truck bed, I further stopped the blood from coming up from my feet to my head as my knees were on the edge. This caused my BP to shoot down and the response known as the Vaso-vagal syncope. When I stood up to vomit, everything went to hell and my head was suddenly not getting the blood it needed...so I passed out, twice.

Now normally this wouldn't be such a big deal. I could rest for a few and then bounce back relatively quickly. However, I had just run 42 miles, vomited twice, and was losing my vision (also a product of low BP). I was spent.

So, yes, I'm irritated. The finish line was completely within my grasp. The athlete/perfectionist in me is very upset and I feel like a huge let down. I know, I know..."Brady, you ran 42 miles and raised a boat-load of $$ for Relay for Life. You won." I'm still not satisfied, though.

Big Dave broke it down for me later that night. He said that you have to remember how significant 42 miles is. If you were talking to some average Joe and told him that you passed out after 42, his response would be, "Well, duh, of course you passed out. You ran 42 miles!" I then had to remind him that he and I rarely associate with just average Joe's. I never really approached this as a 100 miler, it was just "the next race" and I lost. Worse, I logged a DNF.

I'm taking it in stride. Yesterday was very emotional, tears were involved, but I'm getting there. Part of the recouping process is planning on finishing the run. Hairy details are still uncertain, but I want to run the final 58 miles, probably here in Baton Rouge. This won't be for any benefit to RFL, just for my own closure and for my aunt. Keep checking back, I'll keep you posted.

Run hard.

Bittersweet

100 Miles or bust...bust.

Ali and I left for Natchez around 12 on Friday. After catching the tail end of the captain's meeting for Relay for Life, we headed to the hotel for a few hours rest before I began running.

I caught about an hour and a half of sleep before I woke myself up with butterflies in my stomach. I tried to mellow out with my iPod, but the weight of the feat ahead of me was fully on my shoulders. When we finally all met up at the head of the Trace, my spirits were slightly higher as we began running.

Ali had the first shift paralleling me on the bike and soon Pat showed up and he too ran with me. The beginning of the run was very surreal. It was hard to believe that it was actually starting. All the work and effort was culminating to this day.

For the first 32 miles I was having trouble getting into a groove. I never felt like my pace was completely dialed in and I was tired and forcing myself through wall after wall. I was very nervous and scared that maybe things weren't going to come to fruition like I had planned. I was also fighting the urge to vomit.

After mile 32 we began making scheduled stops every 5 miles. I would catch up with the chase vehicle and eat, change shoes and socks, whatever I needed. Now I was cooking with gas. I was feeling great. My spirits were soaring, I was moving at a steady clip that I felt in control of, and any discomfort in my stomach or legs was bearable.

True trouble reared its ugly head at mile 42. Pat went ahead of me to get things ready at the chase car so I wouldn't have to stop for long. When I caught up I sat on the back the truck to rest and eat, but had an incredible urge to vomit. I stood up to walk away and vomit, but didn't make it far. I passed out and hit the ground hard. I vaguely remember being helped back to the truck, but never really came around until a few minutes later. I was sitting on the ground and couldn't remember how I got there. My team looked calm and collective (I later learned they were quite nervous), but I was freaking out. I was remarkably incoherent.

They got me back on the truck where I promptly began throwing up. Then something very odd happened. We would figure out later that it was because of a drop in my blood pressure, but I was beginning to go blind. I couldn't see the people around me or the truck I was sitting on. Pat looked at me, very nervously, and said that he was about this close from taking me into the emergency room. I was terrified.

I ended up crawling into the back of the truck and sleeping for about two hours to see if I could regain any energy and clear my head. When I woke up at dawn my head was clearer and I did feel rested, but it was clear that I didn't have the energy I needed. In addition to everything else, vomiting had cleared my stomach of valuable nutrition. The race was over.

I'm irritated, obviously, that I didn't finish. However, there are a few things to take into consideration. First, it was never about the run. It was about raising money for the American Cancer Society (we are close to $5,000). Second, stopping was the right and safe thing to do. I had pushed through wall after wall, but this wasn't a wall. It was my body hitting the 'reset' button. Finally, not finishing was not a product of not being in shape. If I hadn't been in shape, I probably would have gradually declined until I was too tired to move. That didn't happen. I was strong right up to a certain point. Something triggered in my body and began shutting systems down. I was ready. Sometimes, there are just things beyond your control. I honestly believe that's what happened this day.

It sucks, but we did what we came to do...raise money and cancer awareness. A final thought, lets not assume that I'm finished with this challenge just yet. I am contemplating a final scenario, but still need to think about it and discuss it with the rest of the team. I'll write again later. I have many more thoughts about this run and want to share them all.

Run hard.

Game Day, Not Nervous

We are about nine hours from the gun going off later today. Still not nervous, actually just tired. I'll take it pretty easy today and try to stay off my feet as much as possible.

Ali and I are leaving around 11-ish for Vidalia where we'll try to catch the tail end of a Relay for Life captain's meeting. Then once in Natchez we'll start setting things up. People and team members will begin to arrive, I'll need to get changed and do some interviews, and then the gun will go off. I'm ready.

The weather is going to be interesting. Right now there are extremely dark clouds in the sky. Hope they blow over or at least hold out. Either way, I'm glad this day is here. It's really a relief to have this thing almost over. All the emotion and physical stress has been a crazy trip...and I'm glad that we're all finally seeing this to it's finalé. I'm also glad I'll be surrounded by my friends and people close to my heart. It couldn't happen without them.

God bless and pray for us.

Run hard.

(in memory of KB)

Ultraman Triathlon

“You remember that all difficult things come to an end. You focus on the ending, and then you can take anything.”
- Dave Groggins, SO1 (SEAL Operation First Class)

Dave Groggins is probably one of the more elite extreme athletes in the world today. He's a triathlete, having done Ironman, but in 2006 he finished second overall in the Ultraman Triathlon. This event covers nearly twice that of Ironman (6.2 mile swim, 261.4 mile bike and 52.4 mile run). During the run he averaged sub-8:30 miles- for all 52 miles. Your jaw may have dropped reading those distances (mine too), but it's possible. Anything is possible. We're all capable of so much more than the limits we think we know.

His quote above is taken from an interview where he was discussing how he made it through the intense Navy SEAL training. I think those words are applicable to tomorrow. Definitely.

Run hard.

One Day

This morning I began worrying that I hadn't eaten enough this week. I'm sure that I have. I'm just experiencing last minute jitters. Today's schedule of events:

- pack, then repack all gear
- grocery shop
- mark, fill water bottles
- sleep
- carb-load
- make sure the chase crew is where they need to be in their prep
- make a few email/phone calls to newspapers

I'm exhausted and am going to go jump back in bed in a moment. However, tomorrow is looking good in terms of being ready. I think it's odd that for so long this race was months and months away. Now it seems like all of a sudden it's right on top of me. I'm off to fall asleep watching Wayne's World. Party on Wayne.

Run hard.

Weather Report

I just saw this weather report for Friday night. Looks like rain. Party.

Sleep

Sleep is the answer, I have discovered. Trying to stay busy without doing anything to strenuous is key. So after work, I hop on the computer for about an hour answering emails and putting together final plans. Then I pretty much lay around and watch TV or listen to music....mind numbing, really. However, I've recently discovered the joy that all high schoolers already know! Sleep!

Any free time I have is spent curled up under the blankets asleep. It's great. I don't have to fill endless hours and I get much needed rest. It's beautiful.

We're less than three days from the gun going off. Of course, I'm not really counting down the days till the start. I'm counting the days that I've had to sit still and do nothing. Still not nervous yet, but I'm sure that'll come. Today I did a preliminary interview with The Natchez Democrat. They'll be there Friday when the gun goes off...so I'm excited about that.

I'm headed home tommorrow to begin some intense resting. Ali has already prep'd a list of movies that I get to sit back and watch. I may have to intersperse some of the Rocky movies, but all-in-all I'm looking forward to a very restful next few days while at the house.

Run hard.

Motivated

Motivation. When I'm forcing myself to sit still for long periods of time, motivation is crucial. This whole week is the most severe test of my resolve and self-control. Do I have enough self-discipline to make myself not train and still remain motivated? When I wake up at four in the morning ready to roll, can I sit down and drink coffee and watch the news and wait till I have to be at work? I'll have to.

My iPod is working in overdrive. There are a few heavy metal bands (A.T.P., Metallica, and Tool) coursing through my head, but it's mostly movie soundtracks. I'm brooding to "300", "Braveheart", "The Bourne Identity", and "Black Hawk Down". I've started to get a little more nervous, but for the most part I'm still quietly angry and determined. I'll be nervous when I get in the car for Natchez...but till then, I'm ready and impatient.

As of right now, I have 3 days, 20 hours, 16 minutes till the gun goes off. Bring it on.

Run hard.

Cold Breeze

"We did what we were trained to do, what we were bred to do, what we were born to do!"
- Dilios, "300"

I've spent the past few days in some deep contemplation. Thinking about what this thing is and how much more daunting it is has caused some interesting emotions. At first, I wasn't sure it could be done. "What am I thinking? There's no way I'm prepared."

Then I discovered what nervous feels like. I thought I knew nervous already from countless pre-race jitters or from going on dates or deciding that I was going to join the Marine Corps. I didn't know it. Nervous isn't a feeling in your stomach. Honest to God, it crept up behind me and sat on my soul. It sits there, very tiny, and when you feel at your strongest and most competent it quietly whispers, "eh, maybe." That's all.

The last emotion, the one I'm feeling now, is quiet, determined rage. I'm angry. I'm confident. I'm well trained. Imagine you're in a field somewhere in the mid-west. You're surrounded by golden, dusty wheat and there isn't anything else in sight for miles. Then a storm begins to move in. All you can see is huge, black clouds and a chilling breeze leading it. You know what that sight means. You know that in a few moments all hell is going to be cut loose. You are going to see something awesome.

Today is my last day of training. A thirty minute jog and a light weight lifting session. From today until 5 o'clock Friday the 25th I will be resting, sleeping and loading on carbs. Let me know if you feel a cold breeze around me.

Run hard.

Starbucks

A coffee cup I got at Starbucks: "Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up." Dean Karnazes, Ultramarathon Man.

That's right, Dean Karnazes. The Michael Jordan of ultras. I kind of got a kick out of randomly seeing that so close to my run. I'll take it as a good omen. Another thought that Dean had, which I will shamelessly steal, probed why people are the way they are...mainly, lazy.

In his book Ultramarathon Man, Dean notes that somewhere along the line, people began to confuse happiness with comfort. As long as you feel good, you must be happy. For all of you out there who are athletes, especially runners, bikers, and triathletes...you know this is absolutley not the case. Suffering is what we do. If you can sit down at the end of day and watch Roseanne for hours without any ice on your legs or asprin your body, then really, have you worked all that hard? So remember that next time you are laid up in the Lay-Z-Boy with a bag of Cheetos. Your not happy, you're lazy...and maybe fat.

Run hard.

3.8 Marathons

I'm forcing myself to stay inside now. After a total of four hours working out yesterday, I awoke this morning to find that I was slightly dehydrated. I could tell because my head was pounding...and also I didn't need to use the restroom.

So, I've struggled through this day and finally made it home to take a nap before I worked out. I fell asleep around 2:30 and here I am having just awaken after six. Maybe my body's trying to tell me something. ::slow down, please?::

I'll get an easy workout tommorrow and Saturday, but Saturday is my last day of training! I'm excited because the race will officially be upon me. Score.

I was doing some math yesterday while running and I think the 100 miles comes to 3.8 marathons in a row. I know what you're thinking, "Geeze. It took you four hours to do that math?" Get off me, I'm a runner not Steven Hawkings. Besides, there were cute girls running the lakes. Party.

Run hard.

All I Need

It's about 4:30 AM Wednesday the 16th. I'm sitting here enjoying a large cup of coffee, FoxNews, and the world wide web as I welcome another beautiful looking day. What else does a man need in the morning?

It's about this time when during my run I'll be near miles 75 (hopefuly). I'm sure that at that time, that morning, I'll be thinking there's plenty I need.

Look, I really want to avoid getting all sappy and what-not here, so I'll just get right to the point. This race isn't about the hugeness of the challenge or trying to get noticed in papers. It's about raising money and awareness for cancer. This thing is crucial and it means a hell of a lot to me.

In short, this disease has made me take a look at what's important in life. Yeah, there are things I want and even things that I need...but, there are also those things (people, rather) that you love. Cancer can take all three. So this morning, hug your mom, hug your dad, tackle your brother as he walks out the door, call grandpa, take your dorky sister out to lunch, make fun of your girlfriend's accent. Yeah, right now this coffee and FoxNews are hitting the spot...are all I need. But they aren't what's most important. Know what's important.

Run hard.

Thoughts On 100

Today begins my last week of tapering. I won't have any runs longer than two hours and will be shutting my body down around Saturday as I get ready for a whole week of rest. Again, this is one of the most difficult parts of my training...a sedentary life-style, even for the benefit of training, is not my style at all.

So here is how I've started preparing for my final week. Sports psychology is really interesting in that it looks deeply at how an athlete prepares mentaly for an upcoming contest. One way the mind copes is by playing the event out, over and over again, in your head. That way you're ready for any scenario and can pretty much act without thinking. Since the beginning of the month I have run the 100 miles probably at least once every day...in my head, of course. I dwell on it constantly. Trying to imagine what the pain will feel like. How tired I will feel. How much I will be tempted to quit. How emotional I will be at the finish line. And, also, how good that first beer is going to taste afterwards.

Everything leading to next week is a practice in mind control. Controling how I rest and train, but also controling how I think and feel as I get closer to arguably my most severe feat ever.

Happy running!

Man Down

Yesterday saw the downfall of our first team member. It started out innocently enough. When I headed out for an easy run around the lakes there were only a few ominous clouds in the sky. The sun was still out and it looked like any rain clouds floating by would soon be blown out of the area. It wasn't long before it began sprinkling. It was very gentle and I was thinking that an easy drizzle would be cooling and I wouldn't have to worry too much about my iPod shuffle (GumpPod). As I continued around the lakes, so did the intensity of the rainfall. Before long, it was a torrential downpour and the iPod and I were completely soaked.

The last song that he played before giving up life was 'Knights of Cydonia' by The Muse; a song about a post-apocalyptic cowboy future...seemingly appropriate for it's last song.

So now a new iPod is on the way. Perhaps we'll name this one JennyPod (I like to name my iPod's after famous persons and I seem to be on a Forrest Gump trip at the moment).

Happy running!

An Experience

"We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon."
-- Emil Zatopek

You may as well put the word "ultra" in front of the word marathon at the end of that quote. Zatopek, a ridiculous distance runner in the 40's and 50's, is describing perfectly what this ultra has become to me. Idealy, I would be perfectly rested now. I would have already peaked, knocked out my last distance run, and be well on my way to 100 miles. However, like everything else involving my training, this past week has been quite the experience.

So I'm tired. Boo hoo. What else is new? The big qualm here is what does being tired mean this late in the game? It's hard to say exactly. It may not mean much other than I should rest before finishing my last week of tapering...or it could mean I'm setting myself up for failure through exhaustion. I tend to believe that it is the former. But, this race has become an experience for me in both body and mind. I can't help but question myself over and over. I scrutinize my training non-stop throughout the day. " Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Should I try a different method?" It's mind numbing, really.

There is comfort in Zatopek's words, though. While this creature may be driving me insane, there are those on my team to whom it has done the exact opposite. This beast has changed them. They are in awe of it. While my reactions and behaviors are surreal to me, my team recognizes real progress. They calm me down and reassure me that I am on track. I am ready. I am in peak shape. That I am going to cruise through 100 miles with little more than a sigh.

God willing, that sigh will be a sigh of relief. A mouth-watering cherry on top of this experience. The 100 miles is only the ending. The real experience has been trying to get to April 25th.

Run hard, run slow.

Tougher Than Me...

I absolutely could not be more blessed in terms of the crew that I have helping me out. Let's not kid ourselves, everyone is busy with something. So finding time to help out with day long (or in my case, close to six month long) events is tough to do. My guys have gone above and beyond to help in ways they don't have too. I've got Pat organizing and contacting anyone and everyone. Jill, Ali, Brian, and Dave show up and stay all day long for fundraising events and watch me run all night on training runs. My family, especially Elbow and Paul, doing stupid little nit-picky favors, but things that nevertheless have to get done. Then all the people sponsoring me: Lisa Evans over at Brooks, Jenni Peters at Varsity Sports, and Eric Hill up at Mississippi State.

People can't grasp the idea of running 100 miles and often ask me if I'm insane. No. I am perfectly sane. You want insane? Check out these guys that are helping me. They've got nothing invested in this. This cause is my own personal struggle, not theirs; but don't try and tell them that. They're on board and fully dedicated as if this thing was their own brain child. I love them for that, and that's why they're tougher than me.

Crawfish for Cancer was a success! Our turnout was a little low and in the end we had to go sell outside of Tiger Stadium after the spring game...but we still pulled down close to $1400. Some of that will have to cover expenses, but the majority will put us over $2300!

Happy running!

Crawfish for Cancer

Our first mini-fundraiser is just around the corner! Be sure to come out and meet Team Ultramarathon Brady this Saturday at Varsity Sports in Baton Rouge where we'll be selling crawfish to benefit Relay for Life! The party starts at 2:30 on the front steps of Varsity Sports on Perkins and will last to around six...or till we run out of crawfish.

We'll have shirts for sale and, of course, plenty of crawfish and free beer while it lasts. $25 for 5lbs and $15 for 3lbs. T-shirts for $10.

If you plan on running in the Fat Boy 5k Saturday morning, then check out the Team Ultramarathon Brady table for all the details!

Happy running!